February 27, 2014

Deleted scene from Kickdragon (1994)


  The door exploded, revealing one Detective John Kickdragon.
  "Holy eggs! That's John Kickdragon!" a nearby citizen quaintly exclaimed.

  John gave his cigar a sultry puff, savoring its velvet promise.
  "You bet your ass it is." The words poured from his mouth like snail semen, impregnating the atmosphere with their languid virility.
  Tommy Vercettimoretti stood up from the card table. "Hey, what's the big idea? We's just a few gents enjoyin' a friendly wager or two! Ain't nothin' criminal 'bout--"
  John cut him off with a bullet to the throat. The man's trachea burst open like a snake that's been kicked in the life by a boot full of dynamite juice. His cronies dropped their cards and scrammed.
  "Jimminy japes! John Kickdragon just shot a fella in the--" the same nearby citizen from earlier began hollering, just before John cut him off with a knife to the spleen.
  "That's enough outta you!" John screamed into the night thunderously like the roar of a lion that's been punched in the dick like a clown that isn't sufficiently entertaining a group of 8-12 children even though you've given him $50 dollars like a prostitute who has sufficiently entertained a group of 8-12 sweaty men like they were children being entertained by a clown who knows how to do his fucking job.

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