February 27, 2014

Deleted scene from Kickdragon (1994)

  The door exploded, revealing one Detective John Kickdragon.
  "Holy eggs! That's John Kickdragon!" a nearby citizen quaintly exclaimed.

January 8, 2014

Alternate ending from A Hill of Beans (1991)

  "I call it," Mort said, pausing to spread his arms out as if the words were emblazoned on a marquee, "kopi luwak!"
  Buford recoiled in disgust. "Hell, sounds like some kinda drippy penis syndrome, Mort. Son of a bitch! That's gotta be the worst goddamn name for anything that's ever beset my ears! What the hell is it anyway? Is it gonna give me DPS, Mort? Is it?!"

November 5, 2013

Scene from Operation Bottlenose 2: A Maritime to Kill (2003)

  "Put this on."
  John strapped the odd apparatus to his head. "How do I look?"
  "Like a champion, John. A goddamn champion!"
  The colonel then kicked him out of the helicopter. John flailed his arms as he plunged into the Pacific, as he had been trained to do during his many years as an elite Navy Seal.

September 18, 2013

Scene from Princess Quest (1981)

  "But, father, I must!" cried the princess.
  "Nonsense!" the king thunderously roared. "No daughter of mine shall embark on such a quest! Dragons? Bah!" He spat a nugget of ox mulch into the royal spittoon abutting his throne. 

August 13, 2013

Fight scene from Paper Jam (1995)

  Mitch propelled himself towards the coffee station with determination. After placing his #2 Dad mug on the counter, he unsheathed the carafe from its warmer. He took a moment to take in the earthen scent. It reminded him of Nova Scotia, where he had run into a guy who had seen a movie about a guy who had been in the CIA. Mitch wondered what had happened to that guy.

August 6, 2013

Final scene from Coming In (2008)

  Benny plopped his bookbag atop the living room credenza. His parents were visible in the kitchen beyond, blissfully unaware of the shocking revelation he was about to plop onto them, like so many bookbags atop so many credenzas.

May 23, 2013

Scene from Xevil Squadroon G: Tintinnabulation (1999)

  All was quiet in the Kendwoor system, but Captain Dastard F'udge found it deafening. His fingdigits danced upon the compinterface, activating the bridge's cerulean noise generation matrix. It calmed him somewhat.
  He'd been in this new body for only a few millennia but it was already displaying the telltale signs of entropic undoing. The goblintestines were shot, the mercurenal glands faltering and misfiring. Sometimes he found it difficult to kreen onto any one hypernotion for more than a few nexizeconds.